


CLICK HERE! SINGLE AVAILABLE FIC WAITING TO BE READ!

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is having some pop-up problems. Should have got Ad Block.</p><p>Bonus Round 1 of HSWC.</p><p>"Karkat♠Sollux</p><p>Remember when one of the many coding viruses Sollux sent to Karkat was one that gave his husktop incessant porn popups?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	CLICK HERE! SINGLE AVAILABLE FIC WAITING TO BE READ!

CLICK **HERE** FOR THREE SECRETS FOR A NOOK PLEASING MEGABULGE!

"What." Karkat looked horrified and clicked the small X in the corner of the window.

HOT **LOWBLOOD** LADIES LOOKING FOR SEX. SEX. SEX. IN A HIVE CLUSTER  NEAR **YOU**.

"No, no no. No!" Karkat clicked the new X, closing this new pop-up. Another took the place of its fallen comrade, this one with audio.

"Wanna see what I can do with a pleasure grub? Click here to come into my... private cam room." The naked adult troll on the screen practically purred her words, the grainy video on a few seconds of looping animation.

"Sollux!!" Karkat practically slammed his keyboard and pulled up Trollian.

"Wanna see what I can do with a--"

"Shut up!!" Karkat clicked the X with horror. A new one popped up, but this one, thankfully, had no audio. It did, however show replicas of the weirdest bulges he had ever seen. They were huge and blue and flared at the tip, and there was a URL for Moody-Musclebeast.com.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: WHAT DID YOU DO.  
TA: oh hello KK a good eveniing two you two.  
CG: SOLLUX YOU PIECE OF FESTERING BEE SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING GOBSMACKED HELL DID YOU DO.  
TA: ii2 that a que2tiion becau2e iit doe2nt look liike a que2tiion two me.  
CG: SOLLUX.  
CG: SOLLUX.  
CG: SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR MAKE IT STOP. 

The chat window minimized as another ad popped on screen. **BARELY** _REGAL_ PINKBLOODS WANTING TO SHOW YOU HOW PINK THEY _**REALLY**_ ARE.

Karkat let out a shriek of impotent rage and closed it again. Sollux had already responded.

TA: ii dont know.  
TA: maybe iif you explaiined two me what your problem ii2, iid be able to an2wer your query.  
CG: MY QUERY? MY FUCKING QUERY?  
CG: STOP YOUR SMUG LITTLE NOOKFLAP SNUGGLING SHIT AND WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE AND HELP ME.  
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE SMIRKING, SOLLUX.  
CG: I CAN FEEL THE SMIRKING AND I DON'T APPRECIATE IT ONE IOTA OF A LITTLE BIT.  
TA: KK you 2eriiou2ly need two calm down.  
CG: THERE ARE BULGES EVERYWHERE! I AM LITERALLY DROWNING. FACE DEEP IN A SEA OF FUCKING SLIMY-ASS BULGES. EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW. DO YOU FUCKING HERE ME. DO YOU HEAR ME, CAPTOR? 

CLICK **HERE** TO SEE TROLL PARIS HILTON'S **XXX** SEX TAPE SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE.

THE GLISTENING STAFF \- YOUR STOP FOR THE **BEST** WIZARD EROTICA. _1000'S_ OF STORIES.

TA: 2ound2 liike you got your2elf a viiru2, KK. what have you been gettiing up to over there?  
CG: NO SHIT IT'S A VIRUS. THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUTH. DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING? I'M MOCKING YOUR LISP, SOLLUX. BECAUSE THAT IS HOW ANGRY I AM. I CLEARLY HAVE A VIRUS. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HAVE A VIRUS? BECAUSE I DO. I KNOW WHY. BECAUSE I HAVE SHITTY FRIENDS. I HAVE THE SHITTIEST GODAWFUL FUCKING FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING MULTIVERSE. GET THIS SMUT OFF MY COMPUTER.  
TA: ii dont know.  
TA: ii gue22 iif ii have 2ome 2pare time.  
CG: SPARE TIME? SPARE TIME! MY LUSUS IS GOING TO BE OUT FROM GETTING ROE CUBES SOON. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'D DO IF HE SAW THIS?  
TA: clack hii2 claw2 and 2hriiek a lot and then make you 2triife wiith hiim?  
TA: liike every day? 

HOT BIG BOOTIED ***MILFS*** LOOKING FOR SEX NOW!!!

CG: WHAT IS A MILF? WHY IS THEIR SKIN LIKE THAT? SOLLUX, PLEASE. SOLLUX, I AM ASKING YOU NICELY TO PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS.

"Looking for something a bit less pale and a bit more... pail? Visit railswithpails.com for your free trial. Here... it doesn't stop at paps..."

Karkat wailed. "I just wanted to look up the new Troll Will Smith movie!"

TA: god, KK, you are 2uch a grub. just re2tart your hu2ktop, everythiing 2hould boot up normal. and then clear you hii2tory. twiice. then maybe burn the hu2ktop ju2t two be safe.  
CG: HAHA HA. YOU'RE SO FUNNY. LOOK AT ME, LAUGHING. FULL OF MIRTH. LIKE I AM SOME SHITTY CLOWNBABY WHO JUST TRIPPED MY DUMB ASS ON A WAYWARD BICYCLE HORN. HA HA. HAHAHA. WOW SO MUCH AMUSEMENT. I CAN'T STAND YOU.

Want _**EXTREME**_ BLACK SOLICITATION? Go to **PITCHBITCH.COM** now!!!

CG: IT'S STILL HAPPENING!  
TA: ii told you two re2tart, diip2hiit.  
TA: now lay off, or the next one ii send ii2 gonna blow up your fuckiing computer. 


End file.
